Myths of Character
by Shmendrick
Summary: A series of one shots each telling the tale of a mythological figure. Some may be upsetting, some may be funny and some may be touching but hopefully all will be entertaining.


I look back on my life and see so many points where I could have changed something; where something I've done has lead me to the wrong point in my life. I should have stayed in Colchis, I know my talents would not have been as widely known but in some ways it would have been better for all concerned in my sorry tale. I am not a woman given to regret yet sometimes, sometimes in the dead of night when no-one can hear me I regret, I let myself mourn for my children whom I killed and I even mourn for Glauce. I haven taken many wrong turnings in my life and many right turnings but I know that I am who I am because of my choices. I am not as evil as they say yet I am not good. I am Medea and I am not to be easily categorized.

I was born in Colchis, there in the land of dreams. I grew up almost free there, I knew who and what I was though, I was long aware I was different. I was the granddaughter of a god and I had to do my bloodline dignity as such. I was taught from an early age social manners and customs but in some ways there was a darker side to my teaching. I was taught how to deal with enemies and be cunning, I was taught never to trust. My father's court was full of intrigue and he and the rest of my family could not afford to be so restful as to take everything that was said to us on faith. In some ways I grew up very alone with few friends, my status and my personality, even then, made life difficult for me. Being taught to be dignified meant that I was too cold to make friends easily though I desperately wanted to; I envied the others so much.

I never even got on that well with my family, I'll modestly admit I'm clever and I know that my mother disapproved of me. She knew I would never be happy given away to some foreigner to cement an alliance and making a life as she had, I was too strong willed and too much of a dreamer for that. She knew I would not be happy, we had many arguments when I was younger. I never wanted to weave and gossip as she did but maybe after all I said to her she was the wiser one for she was far more content with her lot. Many women would have been happy to have taken her place, her life in the palace was easy, she had a courteous husband, who, if he didn't love her, never publicly humiliated her as Jason did to me, and she had two wonderful children, only one son of course but my father never seemed worried about that, well not till I… but that is a story for another time. My brother and I never got along, he was too stupid for me. It infuriated me that I should never be able to rule when it was perfectly clear that I was far better suited than him. I had a grasp of politics he did not. He was far more innocent and trusting than a king should have been, I suppose that wasn't his fault. When I left Colchis I was seventeen and he was only ten but still he was never going to be a scholar you could tell even at that age. I didn't see my father much he was too busy and he preferred to spend his time hunting or with my mother. I was never sure if I was a disappointment to him or not. When I left a room once I thought I heard him murmur "such a shame" but my ears could have been deceiving me. I wasn't sure what he was referring to but I decided not to ask as I was unsure if I'd even heard him correctly.

At thirteen I left my home to visit my aunt Circe to learn more of my art. I remember those years well. They were maybe the happiest years I have lived. I was free to be who I wanted, social customs were not as important and I didn't have to be constantly careful of my every move. I could practice my art freely there and learn. I have always enjoyed learning. I was not different there, Circe was the same rank as me, our culture was the same and our magic was the same. I had no reputation for evil then I was simply Medea, a girl who wanted to do great thing but didn't know how. I stayed on that island for four years, I wanted to stay longer, I begged to stay longer but my aunt forced me to return. When she sent me home she reminded that too much pride was dangerous, what she saw then in my future I don't know, when I returned to her again I didn't ask, I was too busy trying to be cleansed of my crime to care what she had seen but I think that was a mistake. I should have asked; that knowledge could have stopped me making more mistakes, even more heinous than the first ones. I left that island sure I would never be as happy again. I wanted so much to stay there and be like Circe, constantly discovering new secrets, new mysteries but I had a different destiny to fulfil and a bitter destiny it turned out to be. I think sometimes that if I had asked she wouldn't have told me anyway, she often said that to know your own destiny was a ruinous thing though I never asked if she had foreseen hers.

My return to Colchis was not easy, at times it felt like the gods had not wanted me there and I believed ever more that I should have stayed on Aeaea. My long absence had merely compounded my isolation and I became more withdrawn than ever as well as more harsh towards those who displeased me. I believe this is when I became the woman I am today. I spent long hours reading dusty scrolls in the temple library instead of at my weaving or attending to those tasks that a princess should do, leading to many arguments with my mother. When my father was consulted about my behaviour he merely said to let me enjoy myself while I could. I believed this meant I would be forced to marry a stranger soon, a fate I had been bred for really. Royal women do not marry for love that would be a dishonour to even think of it. Our wants and desires mean nothing compared to the needs of the kingdom and if the kingdom needs a strong alliance then that is far more important than our dreams. For what are dreams but feeble imaginings of those too weak to cope with reality?

I had been in Colchis only a year when Jason arrived. Later I claimed it was Aphrodite's influence that made me love him but I know it was desperation. He was a hero in my eyes, a young handsome hero. He smiled at me, spoke to me kindly, I was lost to him and I began to walk the path that brought me here now. I helped him, against my father's wishes and my own better judgement and loyalty to the country, I helped him out of a sort of madness brought on me by despair. I hoped he would give me a way out and of course he did. I did not dream then of what I would have to sacrifice to gain that way out. I felt as though this was what Circe had been training me for, maybe she had seen I would do this one day. I had no idea if my ointment would stop him being incinerated in front of my eyes that first time and I still feel sick when I think of the fear as I sat in the crowd and watched him struggle. I remember the angry buzz as he succeeded and how I had to struggle to contain my glee, however I remember that it was glee that I was that clever not glee that he had survived. I remember how he tried to meet my eyes but I turned away from him to speak to the person next to me in angry tones and when I did meet his eyes I looked bored as though he was insignificant to me, while on the contrary he meant everything to me at that time. I met him in the palace gardens that night and begged him to take me away with him, I have never humiliated myself as deeply as that again but at that time I had to make sure he believed I was defenceless, no man likes a woman to be better than them at anything other than what they allow her to be good at. He agreed and I took the final steps into betraying my father. I made sure I had no route home and that is one thing I truly regret. I didn't know he had done it then but he boasted of my help to his crew who had then immediately spread it to the whores they frequented while in Colchis this then spread among the commoners until the slaves heard it. They, of course, gossiped among one another until the news reached the royal court. Well the royal court is always glad of some new gossip and the news was spread maliciously until a word whispered in my father's ear at the right time alerted him to the fact his only daughter and cleverest child had betrayed him. His fury that night was terrible and scared me so much I almost turned my back on the course I had planned for myself. He announced who he had been planning for me to marry in the summer, an old king from a neighbouring kingdom. I decided then that my course could not be changed. I would help Jason one more time then I would leave. I knew what the final task was: to slay the dragon. I spent hours that night concocting the perfect drug until I was certain it would work then I sent my most trusted slave to give it to Jason along with message that I would wait for him on board the "Argo". I took my brother on board as well to spite my father. I knew doing so would cause war in the kingdom as it had no heir but at that moment I didn't care. Jason was surprised to see me, he didn't expect me to truly follow him but I had to. We left Colchis that night with the Golden Fleece. I will not lie and say I didn't expect to be pursued but I didn't know then what I would do if we were, I only knew later. I am not trying to say I was not to blame for my crime but I saw a vision of me killing my brother and I knew I would have to do this. My father saw me appear on the stern of the Argo and hold my brother up, he didn't curse me then, he merely asked for his son back, he was willing to let me go free at that point or so he claimed. I knew he was lying; I slit my brother's throat then. He wept and cursed me then. I cried as I did the deed though, I am not as heartless as I would like to pretend. I will never forget my father's voice on the wind, cursing me as I threw parts of my brother into the sea nor the look of horror on the faces of the crew nor the glee as they realised we had survived.

On the way home we sailed past Circe's island and I begged them to put in there for a while. I had to be cleansed of what I had done. Circe greeted me with open arms at first but when I had told her what I had done she changed completely. Her fury at me was far worse than my father and scared me far more. That was when she told what she had foreseen for me, she had known then I would kill my two children. She said there was no way of avoiding it; it was my repayment for my brother's life. I left there with a dread I could barely conceal. I lied to Jason when he asked what was wrong; I told I was merely worried about what was going to happen when we arrived at his home, Iolcus under the shadow of Mount Pelion.

It was worse than anything I had imagined. There were fine banquets served in our honour while the matter of succession was discussed among the wise men of the kingdom, I could see the frustration on Jason's face growing worse day by day. I had also discovered that I was hated here as the Argonauts gossiped of what I had done in the escape. Slowly it spread but Pelias' daughters were a haughty lot who didn't listen to the slaves' gossip, silly really, slaves talk to each other and scandal spreads quickly among their ranks. I won their trust quietly, sitting with them and spinning though I detested it. I became friendly with them and eventually they confided that they were worried about their father in his old age. The beginnings of a plan began to take seed in my mind; I knew it would be heinous but maybe just maybe it would mean that I could get my lover back on his throne. I showed them in my demonstration that I was both a witch of great power and that I could make their father young again. They believed me and they tried to repeat my spell but they failed and killed their father instead. I tried to claim that they had done wrong and eventually we were forced to flee to Corinth. I believe that is when Jason began to resent me and eventually that resentment would grow until it was our entire relationship.

In Corinth my reputation had preceded me but some brave women still became my friends. Eventually I was accepted by the women but never by the men. I knew I wasn't respectable, I was Asiatic and had two children by a man I wasn't married to but the women of Corinth still accepted me in some small part. Sometimes I look back and wonder why I wasn't more grateful then I realise that I saw it as my due. I look back on the years in Corinth with a mixture of amusement and regret; amusement because I had fought against being someone's wife and carrying out wifely duties for so many years back in Colchis and yet I had run away to do those same things and regret because, well isn't obvious? I had two sons then; I have borne three yet only one remains to me. I enjoyed being Jason's wife in everything but law, I have to admit. I still had some romance left in my soul then and I believed love could get me through the hardest times. Well I was wrong because it would be love that caused my hardest times. I was happy for those precious years in Corinth; they seem so few now looking back, only eight years where I was happy. It seems so strange that what leads to my greatest happiness also leads to my greatest unhappiness. The years on Circe's island were the happiest in my life but I can not deny that if I had not learnt magic there I would not have done my later deeds, without magic I would merely have been a clever princess; with it I was well… Medea I suppose. Then, of course, in Corinth I was happy with my family but then my pride lead to my greatest downfall. I was happy then, for eight precious short years I was happy. Jason had become involved in politics soon after we arrived; it delighted me to see his face so animated as he spoke about his the political intrigues of the court. Occasionally I commented but as I said before few men like their wives to be good at something that isn't "womanly". He became more and more involved in politics and then… well I should have seen it coming really but I had been ignoring my magic recently, I had healed a few people, people who needed me but as for seeing the future, well I had ignored my talents entirely in that area. Jason announced he was marrying Glauce, well he didn't announce it he just sent a messenger with the information. He was too cowardly, this brave hero, to tell me he was leaving me for a younger woman, a respectable one this time. A woman who could actually marry him. He was leaving me alone with no protection in a foreign land. Is it so surprising that I planned revenge against the man? I knew that to truly punish him my revenge would have to be worse than his actions; I wanted to utterly destroy him. Before I could act however I was exiled by Creon, out of fear for his daughter's safety. Sometimes I wonder if my revenge would have been as brutal if he hadn't exiled me. I like to think that I wouldn't have tortured Glauce so much but in reality I don't know. I know I would have killed Glauce anyway, whether Aegeus had given me safe haven or not yet I still feel guilt over her death. I remember the dread and the hopelessness when I realised I was not strong enough to kill my children yet when I knew that Glauce was dead I found the courage. I would not see my children dead for their mother's pride yet I knew that they would suffer worse at the hands of the royal house of Corinth. I dream of their voices pleading me to stop at night and I remember what I have done every time I look at Medus, I can see traces of their faces on his. He is his brothers reincarnated and sent to earth to punish me and every day his face is a thousand daggers in my heart yet I cannot send him away for to do so would be to forever lose all humanity and sanity and punish my child for a sin he did not commit. I already punished my eldest two for that, for being Jason's son and I will not punish another for a crime he is blameless of. I am not as heartless as I appear.

I fled to Thebes before I went to Athens to help another old friend, Heracles. He murdered Iphitus and for that he needed cleansing. I managed to help him in this way and he offered me sanctuary with him in Thebes and wanting somewhere to mourn in private I stayed with him. He didn't seem to care about the angry muttering of some of the citizens and he allowed me to stay with him for a while, well at least until an angry mob arrived. I fled Thebes just before the mob caught me and continued on my way to Athens bemoaning the fate that had brought me here.

At Athens I was almost refused entry but the oath Aegeus had sworn proved itself to be helpful so early on. I was greeted at the palace by him and he seemed so happy to see me there that I barely thought twice when we became lovers. To me it was just another way of cementing my position, to him it meant I loved him. Well I had Medus and was again content to act the part of his wife, an irony which was never lost on me I assure you. All was going well when Theseus arrived. I was beginning to become happy again which should have been warning enough for me but I was lulled into a sense of safety. I wanted my son to be secure, in a way all that Jason had wanted for our sons, so I knew getting rid of Theseus was the only way to do it. I I convinced Aegeus, my kind trusting husband that Theseus was a danger, I told him I'd had a vision that Theseus would cause his death. I didn't say it would only be indirectly. Aegeus knocked the cup from my hand as I gave it to Theseus, it would have been so much better for all concerned if he hadn't recognised his old sword. Aegeus would have lived, that detestable Araidne could have stayed in Crete and I wouldn't have been sent home to Asia by a furious king.

Returning to Colchis was hard for me but I did it with all the pride required of a royal princess. I found my kingdom ruled by my uncle and my father in prison with my mother a servant of the false queen. I promised myself this would be the last time I meddled with a succession with my skills and murdered my uncle in the best way I knew: with poisons. I left Colchis then and wandered long and far, I had left my son in Colchis as he could inherit but I myself could not live there. Eventually my wanderings took me to a tribe called the Aryans, they revered me as a wise woman and I became their healer.

I have lived a long life with many regrets yet I know that my life has made me who I am. I am Medea, a witch of great power, loved by some, hated by many and I am the descendant of the Sun God I am great and I am fallen I shall be everything and nothing. I have had it all and lost it all and this is my story. Remember my child remember to be happy because even in the darkest times you will have something to remember then. Be passionate and live with fire in your heart and you will not always be happy but you will be a fire that can sustain itself.


End file.
